Dear America - Get Help! Your friends in Canada are worried about you.


December 22, 2011

Dear America,

You used to be such a nice, smart country, but these days, and we say this as your friends up here in Canada, you seem to be having an emotional breakdown.

We first noticed it after you lost your mojo following the global economic crash of 2008.

Remember? That was the result of your politicians in the White House and on both sides of the aisle in Congress unleashing a financial tsunami on the world by gutting the regulation of your financial-services sector, dating to the Great Depression, at the behest of Wall Street.

That would be the same Wall Street money houses that lavished billions of dollars on those politicians in campaign donations and lobbying efforts going back decades, in order to get them to do their bidding by getting rid of those necessary financial safeguards.

Wall Street then drove a truck through the rules your politicians had removed at its behest, aided and abetted by your credit-rating agencies, which graded junk subprime mortgage securities as Triple A safe, which helped to spread the contagion of these toxic assets worldwide.

Credit agencies which were in a huge conflict of interest, since they were being paid by Wall Street for their ratings and the higher the ratings they gave, the more money they made and the more market share they won.

We’ve always thought of you as a no-nonsense, law-and-order country. But the fact not one politician or senior Wall Street executive has gone to jail for what happened in 2008 really makes us wonder about how tough on crime you really are.

Maybe your Republican politicians should stop ranting so much about Canada’s “socialized” health-care system and start explaining to the American people how Wall Street was allowed to privatize its profits while socializing its losses — which is what happened when U.S. taxpayers had to pick up the tab for Wall Street’s insane financial recklessness that led to the subprime mortgage securities crisis and global credit freeze.

As for you Democrats, including you, President Obama, have you gone collectively insane with regard to your energy policies?

You don’t seem to want our oilsands oil from Alberta, or Mideast oil, or offshore oil, or to drill for oil.

Where then, do you plan on getting your oil, which you’re going to need for decades to come until someone can figure out how to make wind turbine and solar power work on an industrial scale?

Do you seriously prefer tankers carrying oil from dictatorial regimes like Venezuela (isn’t Obama pretty ticked off with Hugo Chavez right now?) leaking into the Gulf of Mexico, as opposed to oilsands oil delivered with far less risk by pipeline from a reliable ally like Canada?

If you’re worried about climate change, stop ranting about the oilsands, which account for one-10th of 1% of global carbon dioxide emissions, and start worrying that you generate almost half your electricity from coal, which has an impact on the planet up to 70 times greater than the oilsands.

(In Canada, by the way, we get almost 75% of our electricity from non-emitting sources, mainly hydro power, at 59%).

Anyway, just wanted you to know your friends up here in the Great White North are worried about you.

Seriously. Get some help.

Sincerely, Canada